Wedding in Ephesus

The story

Towards the beginning of the year, Farida and I thought that this year we should hold some kind of ceremony to mark our commitment to life together. Then there was the question: where? We decided we needed two: Australia was good, but maybe my daughters Lara and Bella wouldn’t be able to attend, so we thought we might have a small preliminary ceremony when we next met. But we never made any decisions or announcements.

When Lara and Bella and I decided to meet up in Turkey, I decided Ephesus would be nice for this ceremony. But then as Farida and I started looking at organising this, it started to get very complicated, with all kinds of paperwork, and approvals from government departments, and so it looked like it wouldn’t happen. So we settled on Plan B: Farida and I would say some words to each other, Lara and Bella would be there, and that would be their participation in some yet-to-be-determined future event.

However, I didn’t count on Lara and Bella’s knack for making friends. They met a local entrepreneur named Aydin; he got wind of our intention; he declared that we must organise this properly; and within 24 hours we had imam, bridesmobile, wedding singer, wedding feast, several guests, hairdresser and barber.

When we arrived at the library of Ephesus, we also had about 100 curious tourists also keen to become involved, taking pictures, applauding and trying to get into the photographs.

Here are a few pictures from the day, and after. (And apologies to all for making the announcement after the event!)

Saturday 21st August 2010

David’s ticket into the Ephesus site.

Farida isn’t always made up as a Turkish bride. Here she is on the right. Lara is on the left.

Aydin insisted both of us get properly scrubbed me. Here’s David at that Turkish barber. There they shaved (using a cutthroat razor), burned, plucked and trimmed every stray bit of hair on his head.

Turkish barbering includes… Turkish face massage!

David waiting in the hotel.

Bella and David figure out a really useful way to pass the time.

The bridemobile, complete with message number places covering up the real ones, bouquet, and…

… hearts on the back.

Our friend and gentil organisateur Aydin points out features of the bridemobile.

David walks towards the library at Ephesus.

Aydin escorts Farida.

This time, David is attended in the waiting by Lara.

In retrospect, it seems that Farida was accompanied by the the best man, and David by two bridesmaids!

At last.

Lara assists with a grin.

Next to Farida is Murselin, the wedding singer, who is taking on the role of imam. Since an imam is simply anyone who is learned in the Qur’an, anyone can do it. Standing below is Ramadan, who is playing the part of prompt: whispering the lines to Murselin, when Murselin forgets.

And here, we just speak to each other.

The applause marks the end… kind of.

Because a crowd of tourists from all over the world has gathered, and some start shouting “kiss, kiss!”

Others take photographs. We may end up all over facebook, flickr and picasa.

Rings…

An unexpected hug.

Then, with nowhere in particular to go, we sit reflectively for a while.

I don’t remember why I brought my guitar, but I did. Bella plays a tune, and the tourist crowd applauds.

A bit of history…

In the land that is now Turkey, a wide marble road slopes down to one of the largest libraries of the ancient world. Between 12,000 and 15,000 scrolls were housed in the grand Library of Celsus in the Roman city, Ephesus.

Designed by the Roman architect Vitruoya, the library was built in memory of Celsus Polemeanus, who was a Roman senator, General Governor of the Province of Asia, and a great lover of books. Celsus’ son, Julius Aquila, began the construction in 110 AD. The library was completed by Julius Aquila’s successors in 135 AD.

Celsus was buried beneath the ground floor in a lead container inside a marble tomb. A corridor behind the north wall leads to the vault.

This library is one of the most beautiful structures in Ephesus.

The scrolls of the manuscripts were kept in cupboards in niches on the walls. There were double walls behind the bookcases to prevent the them from the extremes of temperature and humidity. The capacity of the library was more than 12,000 scrolls. It was the third richest library in ancient times after the Alexandra and Pergamum.

The facade of the library has two-stories, with Corinthian style columns on the ground floor and three entrances to the building. There is three windows openings in the upper story. They used an optical trick that the columns at the sides of the facade are shorter than those at the center, giving the illusion of the building being greater in size.

The statues in the niches of the columns today are the copies of the originals. The statues symbolize wisdom (Sophia), knowledge (Episteme), intelligence (Ennoia) and valor (Arete).

The building faces east so that the reading rooms could make best use of the morning light.

Waiting to leave Ephesus.

Yet another uninvited guest… this time canine.

We departed for Sirince, in the hills behind Selcuk, for the wedding feast. A little more history…

Şirince was settled when Ephesus was abandoned in the 15th century but most of what one sees today dates from the 19th century. There is a story that the village was settled by freed Greek slaves who named the village Çirkince (meaning “Ugly” in Turkish) to deter others from following them. The village’s name was changed to Şirince (meaning “Pleasant”) in 1926 by the governor of Izmir Province.

We were accompanied by a train of cars, all beeping their horns in venerable Turkish wedding fashion.

Stopping for photos along the way…

The full wedding posse (except Lara and Bella, taking the photo.)

Our friends take us first to a rocky peak, high above the landscape.

Aydin scribes F ♥ D on the rocks.

Two bottles of wine, and glasses, appear.

The sun sets.

While in the East, the moon rises at the same time.

Climbing the hill towards the site of the wedding feast. That’s Murselin, acting as imam before, now reverting to his core profession: wedding singer.

The instrument he carries is called, we think, the bağlama.

The feast.

The dance.

The wedding party went off to a nightclub in Kusadesa. David and Farida stayed in Sirince.

Breakfast in the hills.

An Ottoman era school building converted into a restaurant.

Back in Selcuk for a few more days.

Bella and Lara in front of the Hotel Bella.

David and Farida wondering if they should buy and renovate a house in Selcuk.

Back in Istanbul.

Lara tries out an emerald and diamond necklace valued at one million dollars.

And we all ponder the accidental dadaism of this poem found in a restaurant menu.

After Lara and Bella left for Europe, David and Farida went to the Spice Market.

The Rustem Pasa mosque, lined with tiles from Izmir.

A moment of reflection.

A final drink on the top of the Seven Hills Hotel, from which one can see the Hagia Sophia in one direction, the Blue Mosque in another, and the Bosphorus in the third.

One of our Turkish friends said:

This was the best wedding I ever attended. Normally, these things are planned for six months in advance, and by the time of the event, everyone is really stress. In this wedding, nothing was planned, and no-one was stressed.

{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

J. David Dacus August 30, 2010 at 12:23 am

Inspired~
From thousands of miles away, you spread joy and light in my heart.

Blessings,
D

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brianna August 30, 2010 at 7:46 am

what a beautiful event – mazel tov! xo

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meg & chris September 1, 2010 at 10:29 pm

joy! joy! all over joy – what a wonderful, spontaneous, world-enriching, perfect marriage of true minds, farida & david – we are so happy for you two – and look forward to more celebrating when you return,
with much love and wishes for a long and harmonious life together,
meg & chris
xxx

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Sahadat Chaudhury September 4, 2010 at 2:45 am

You look so happy! What a wonderful occasion!! What a nice place!!!
Wishing Farida and David a happy life.

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Halona Black September 4, 2010 at 11:23 am

Congratulations to such a beautiful couple! The photo captioned “waiting to leave ephesus” is the perfect wedding photo. Looks like wonderfully relaxed, unrehearsed time! I wish you both the best of life and love.

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Mihaela September 7, 2010 at 6:36 pm

I wish I were there! Congratulations Farida & David! May all you dreams come true!

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Rebecca September 8, 2010 at 9:01 am

David! Congratulations on your beautiful family and marriage. What a wonderful adventure it was and so pleased to have the visuals along with your words. Sending you both much love and blessings on your union.

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Rob Hubbard September 8, 2010 at 10:55 am

What a lovely wedding. Couldn’t happen to nicer people.

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Howard Melder September 10, 2010 at 6:18 am

Great to see you guys finally did it. Awesome location. good on your kids for their on the spot organisation.
Well done guys. Howard

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Ian & Anne September 11, 2010 at 8:25 am

Wow! That’s great! What a way to take the plunge, backdrop of history, keeping you focused in the present, and the touch of spontaneity just to shake it up a bit! Congratulations. Wishing you both both very happy times for the future! Loved the pics.

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Justin September 11, 2010 at 10:01 am

Brilliant!!! Looks absolutely perfect. Great way to present it to the world too. It looks like you all had so much fun and it looks like a love-filled way to make a binding with all who are important to you as part of the ties. See you soon in Balmain. Justin.

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Mal & Deborah September 12, 2010 at 2:06 pm

A wonderful thing to do in such a wonderful place.. Why stop at one [or two]? This could go on for while and we have the ideal location for the next one. See you in Tonga.
Our best for the future.

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Hanna September 13, 2010 at 9:34 am

Hey what fantastic news – congratulations to you both. I loved the photos. Such a simple setting, but reflecting so much depth. What an occasion. Faridah looked beautiful. I loved the sitting around afterwards – everyone looked so relaxed and happy.
All the best. Hanna xx.

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Anna Cico September 13, 2010 at 12:57 pm

Magic. You look in peace. xxx

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Debbie September 21, 2010 at 12:13 pm

Oh! :) :) :) Thanks for sharing every detail of such a magic story!!!!
I agree with your other friends that this tradition should continue, having a wedding wherever turns out convenient for your guests! We therefore offer our garden in the Blue Mountains for your next (summer) ceremony! I can arrange everything :)
Lots of love and surprised but passionate congratulations on your official union. xxxx Debbie (and Andrew, Torsten and Umi)

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Jody October 12, 2010 at 9:20 am

Congratulations and what a beautiful celebration. Absolutely lovely !

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Rick & Celia Jurdeczka October 12, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Congratulations Farida & David and best wishes for a long and happy life together. Great photos. It looks like a wonderful and memorable day and you are right about the spontanaety, always more enjoyable.

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Helen Costigan October 12, 2010 at 1:22 pm

Kas blo yutupla yet. Many happy returns

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Bavali November 16, 2010 at 11:05 am

Thank you for sharing your magical day with us. So much light and laughter and love! Congratulations. What a delight to see your photos and feel you both so close.

Love
Bavali

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Frank December 17, 2010 at 6:48 pm

Beautiful!!! I can feel the happiness in these photos. Thanks for taking us along on your journey. Congratulations to you and David. If you are ever in Washington DC our house is your house.

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Sofiah Thom December 18, 2010 at 5:35 am

Wow, I had no idea you were getting married David! congratulations to you both, Farida you look lovely and I look forward to meeting you!

Don’t be strangers….please do come and visit my husband and I here in Costa Rica!

Many blessings on your life together…..

Sofiah

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Marcus December 21, 2010 at 11:32 pm

Hey! Congratulations you guys. You are real ‘life artists’ and I love your work.
If ever you’re in Bristol,UK, give us a call and we’ll celebrate all over again.
May you have a long and fruitful life together.

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Geetha March 11, 2011 at 9:49 am

Love the zen spontaneity. Congratulations on your wedding, and congratulations on how you did it!

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birgit & karl, austria May 19, 2011 at 6:13 am

Dear David & Farida!

So beautiful to see your wedding photos and so wonderful to see you both so lucky and to have such a brilliant wedding!! You are both looking very good and so happy on this magnificient place. Where are you living now, in both countries? Which are both very interesting, i guess. So we are wishing you all the best together!

Do you remember, the two austrians, who are living in glebe and for one week in your house. it was so nice to assisting us and i often remember all the nice moments. It was very especially for me. Lara and Bella are both so beautiful women and I cleary remember the two little girls. All the best for them as well. I think they can’t remember us.

I just tell you something about our life: beautiful house on the country side, 1.5 hours far away from vienna, three kids: julian 11, jakob, 8, maria 5. I am national park ranger and doing a public relations project for the wildcat in austria. karl has his office with jo together and is doing a lot larger projects, f.e. exhibition hall near vienna.

so thank you very much to get to know you and have a long and sweet live.

Birgit & Karl

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Simon Swale May 26, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Emia nau – gutpela tru! Mitupela Sera hamamas stret long lukim ol piksa blong marit bilong yu tupela. Good stuff, David – and lovely to catch up on Skype with you today. Let’s hope that we can meet again – and meet Farida for the first time – when we’re in Oz later this year. Keep well and keep in touch. S&S

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Arianne Laidlaw June 7, 2011 at 2:51 pm

What a joy! That just might be the best wedding I’ve ever participated in (via
text and pictures, of course.) David, you are surrounded by lovely women and
so fortunate to have such resourceful daughters! Makes me happy to see you
all so happy,. including every member of the impromptu wedding party!
Perfect. Thanks for sharing! Love, Arianne

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Hadas, Israel November 10, 2011 at 5:56 pm

What a lovely wedding!! and what a beautiful setting :)
u both look very happy & loving- Mazel Tov!
Best,
Hadas

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Debe March 26, 2012 at 1:29 pm

LOVE IT!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

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